Sex––we all love to have it, love to talk about it and love to learn about it (whether we admit it or not). Just when you think you qualify as a full-fledged sexpert, you’re taught something new from a best friend, a family member or your favorite magazine!
Are you ready to learn even more about the most spoken-about activity ever? Look no further! We’ve consulted the help of Laura-Anne Rowell, sex coach at Primitive Balance, to teach us six sex facts that would shock even the most educated collegiette.
1. Most women masturbate
If you masturbate on the regular or have thought about trying to masturbate once or twice, rest assured that you are not alone. Most mammals masturbate for sheer pleasure ––and yes, that includes women!
So, why do some women feel shameful it? According to Rowell, it has a lot to do with societal norms. “Culturally, women can be taught that ‘good girls’ don’t want sex and they should wait until they are in love,” she says. “There are lots of bad and mixed messages going on here.” Additionally, many women feel guilty about their sexual fantasies, using sex toys like butt plugs ––or even watching porn.
Rowell says that women can fight this embarrassment by communicating with their partner or besties about their fantasies in a space that is free of judgment. “As women, we should be proud of how wonderful our bodies and imaginations are,” she says. “It is so empowering to explore your body and mind. Have fun.” We could not agree more!
2. You can pee and orgasm at the same time
For some women, it is easy to confuse the sensation of an impending orgasm with that of the urge to pee. Why? Female anatomy seems to provide some answers to that question.
The clitoris and the vagina are very close to the bladder. During sex, that region feels a lot of pressure. According to Go Ask Alice, a program run by Columbia University, women who have urinary stress incontinence (or the unintentional loss of urine), can “leak” when they laugh, sneeze or ––you guessed it–– orgasm!
If you don’t have urinary stress incontinence and still feel the urge to pee, your body may be confusing signals from your clitoris with signals from your urethra. Kegel exercises and emptying the bladder before sex are the best ways to combat such feelings.
3. Vibrators were invented to reduce ‘hysteria’
When you hear the term “vibrator,” you almost immediately associate it with female enjoyment. However, this was the furthest thing from the minds of the doctors who invented the sex toy.
So, why was the toy invented? Believe it or not, doctors invented the contraption as a way to aide female “hysteria” ––basically a vague definition of sexual frustration (hello!), which was also believed not to exist in women until the early twentieth century.
4. A man doesn’t have to have erection to reach orgasm
Nope, we aren’t kidding! There are many reasons (both mental or physical) why men can’t get an erection sometimes. But, according to Rowell, a man does not need to be hard to orgasm.
When a man is erect, the blood vessels in the penis are engorged, Rowell notes. “This is called a ‘hard-on’ and it is not the reason a man comes,” she says. “A man can come from anal stimulation, mental stimulation and penile stimulation, all without the help of an actual hard-on.” It may take longer, but it still feels just as good.
Rowell has some advice for anyone who is having trouble in the bedroom. “If you are with a man who is having issues with performing, do not pressure or placate him,” she says. “Instead, start pleasing yourself and take the pressure off of him! He will get lost in your pleasure and this may help his performance. It’s sex… have fun and keep trying!”
5. Female orgasm might help induce pregnancy
Every collegiette loves a good theory, and this one could not be more interesting. The “up-suck” theory” is rooted in the belief that, during orgasm, the contractions in the uterus actually suck up semen that gets deposited in the vagina. Crazy, huh?
6. Shaving your pubic hair may increase your risk of contracting an STI
One of the most prominent methods of pubic hair removal among millennials is shaving with a razor. As many collegiettes have surely experienced, shaving the bikini area can cause cuts, skin lesions and, bumps and ingrown hairs ––all of which can leave your skin open and vulnerable to infection.
According to Rowell, this open skin makes you vulnerable. “If you have sex and your open skin comes in contact with someone who has an infection, it can make the infection easier to enter your body,” she says.
When it comes to waxing, the thought process is similar since your pores are open and you don’t have the protection of pubic hair. “In addition, if you go to a waxing salon that does not change the spatula or double dips, or if you notice [your waxer] is using the same container of wax for everyone, this can spread an infection,” Rowell says. “Some people believe that the heat from the wax will kill the infection, but this is untrue. Many bacteria actually thrive in such conditions.” Yuck!
Sex is a unique experience for everyone, and staying informed is the best way to learn what your body does (and doesn’t) like. Don’t believe everything you hear, stay safe, and ––most importantly–– have fun, collegiettes!